


there's love above love (and it's ours)

by Eirwyn



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Tiny bit of Angst, just enough to give this a plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirwyn/pseuds/Eirwyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been four years since Gilmore and Vax wandered their way into a relationship, and as with all things, nothing stays the same for very long. There are changes afoot for them both.</p>
<p>In which I write fluff for fluff's sake and give my boys their happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I like angst as much as the next person (which is to say, I can tolerate it as long as I know there's going to be a happy ending. To quote Spring Awakening: I don't do sadness) but I needed fluff, these boys needed fluff, the entirety of Critical Role needed some fluff, so I wrote fluff. FLUFF.
> 
> (that word has now lost all meaning)
> 
> I have been deliberately vague with the timeline and canon events, so much so that you could almost consider this an alternate timeline if you wanted to. It is entirely up to the discretion of the reader how much of the canon events you want to have happened or not. And yes, being deliberately vague is the same as being too lazy to figure it out myself. You're welcome!
> 
> The title comes from a song called 'I Love You Too Much'. It is one of my personal Vaxmore songs and if you YouTube it, I highly recommend the cover sung by a girl called Anna.

Gilmore blinked, rubbed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. It was his most comfortable chair, large and covered in cushions, well stuffed with feathers and right now it was about as comfortable as a hard wooden bench for how long he had been sitting in it, studying a new book he had recently acquired. He glanced out of the window and winced at how dark it was. Sarenrae only knew how late it was now. He could vaguely remember the midnight bell tolling, and had thought to himself that he would set the book aside after he had finished the chapter. Flicking back through the pages, he saw that it was now four chapters past the end of that chapter, and sighed to himself.

He placed a bookmark in the book and closed it, moving over to the window to glance outside. It was quiet and dark, the occasional street lamp not withstanding and Gilmore sighed to himself again as he stretched, loosening stiff muscles and decided that he might need someone to take the book away from him. If Vax had been here….

Gilmore shook his head firmly. No, he was not letting his mind wander down that path. However, despite the stern talking-to he was getting very good at giving himself, he couldn’t stop thinking about Vax now that he had started, his mind wandering as his body moved through the room, snuffing out candles and getting ready for bed. It wasn’t the longest separation they had ever had, that dubious distinction went to the six months that had occurred shortly after their first year together, but this separation was hitting the three-month mark, and that was longer than it had been in a while.

Gilmore knew what he was signing up for when he decided that he wanted to be with Vax, and it was part of the reason that Vax had hesitated for so long in telling Gilmore exactly how he felt, along with the fear that they would try it, and it would fall apart because one or both of them couldn’t handle not seeing each other. But for nearly four years so far they had managed, and arguably had been thriving. Even so, every time Vax went away, Gilmore spent two weeks functioning normally, and then he slowly deteriorated into worry, which inevitably led to sleeplessness and distraction. The first couple of days after Vax got back was always spent just sleeping in each other’s arms before moving onto more… vigorous activities.

The faint tolling of bells filtered through Gilmore’s consciousness and he paused, standing in the middle of the room and counting mentally, pinching the bridge of his nose as he counted three. Three am. He had to get up in five hours time. That was the downside of owning a shop, even such a specialist and luxury shop like Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. Gilmore sat down on his bed and extended his hand to extinguish the last of his lights, when the sound of his window being slid open made him start gathering magic into his fingers, and he was preparing to release the spell when he saw the dark outline of a very familiar figure step inside, stumble a little, and catch itself heavily with a hand against a bookcase, which shook and rattled. The figure hushed it rather more loudly than the rattle had been, and glanced over to where Gilmore was sitting, watching the proceedings with some degree of amusement. 

The figure pouted and Gilmore’s smile got even wider. Getting up from the bed quickly, he crossed over to the slightly swaying figure and opened his arms, exclaiming. “Vax!”

Vax, pink-faced and flushed, still swaying and bright-eyed, took one step forward, tripped over his own feet and fell into Gilmore’s arms, his own arms winding around Gilmore’s neck and holding on as he murmured. “I was trying to be stealthy. It was gonna be a surprise.”

Gilmore wrapped his arms around Vax’s waist and pulled him close, ignoring the chill of the armour against his bare chest so he could set his chin on Vax’s shoulder and in turn feel Vax press his face into Gilmore’s own shoulder in response as he replied. “This is a surprise; I am surprised. You normally go back to the Keep after the ‘we’re-back-in-Emon’ pub crawl.”

Gilmore felt Vax mutter into his shoulder. “It’s not called that. Scanlan calls it the ‘thank-fuck-we’re-still-alive’ pub crawl, and Keyleth calls it the ‘I-really-need-a-drink’ pub crawl, and Grog just makes noises and gestures towards the nearest pub.”

Gilmore laughed and stepped back a bit to take Vax in as he asked. “Was there any need to be grateful that you’re alive?”

Vax shook his head as Gilmore checked him over. Dirty and tired from being on the road, and certainly not very coherent, though that was definitely down to the amount of alcohol that had been consumed prior to Vax deciding to climb through Gilmore’s window. There was no visible sign of any injury and Vax had climbed through the window gracefully enough, allowing for the drunkenness, but there was something in his attitude, and the way he clung onto Gilmore. He seemed almost sad.

Deciding not to pursue it whilst Vax was clearly drunker than Gilmore had seen him in a long time, he just gently manoeuvred Vax backwards until he was sitting down on the edge of the bed and said. “Get your boots off and I’ll go and fetch you some water.”

Gilmore barely had enough time to straighten up again before Vax lurched forwards and wrapped his arms around Gilmore’s waist, pressing his face into Gilmore’s stomach as he whined. “No, don’t go! I don’t want you to go, I like it when you’re all soft and sleepy and….” Vax looked up into Gilmore’s face, a lazy drunken smile on his own face. “Half-naked. I _really_ like it when you’re naked. I should be naked too!”

That, obviously, led to Vax immediately trying to pull his top off. He actually did quite well considering his armour was still buckled on, and managed to get his left arm out before getting stuck and apparently deciding that seeing as that arm was stuck, he should start working on the other one. Before he could get too far with the right arm, Gilmore caught his hand and said firmly. “Vax, dear, let me do it.”

Vax’s face lit up. “You’re going to get me naked?”

Gilmore couldn’t stop a chuckle. Drunk Vax was apparently just as endearing to him as all the other versions of Vax were, but he replied. “I’m going get your armour off, and your boots off, and then I’m going to get you a drink of water and then we’re _both_ going to sleep.”

Vax pouted again and opened his mouth to say something, but that quickly turned into a gentle sigh as Gilmore leaned in to press a kiss against his forehead as he began to work on the straps of Vax’s armour. Considering Gilmore had not had much chance to handle armour before, he managed quite well, and the armour came off along with the cloak attached to it. Whilst he was working on the boots, Gilmore glanced up and saw that Vax had tilted to the side and fallen asleep against the headboard, dark hair covering part of his face.

Once the boots had been eased off, Gilmore shook Vax awake gently and murmured. “If you’re warm, take some of your layers off; I’m going to get your drink. Don’t go back to sleep.”

When Gilmore got back, Vax was bare-chested and curled up on the bed, on top of the sheets with his head against a pillow and blinking slowly. He sat up when Gilmore came back, immediately reaching out for him and Gilmore happily let him, arranging them so that Gilmore was sitting next to Vax, and Vax was curled up next to him, head on Gilmore’s shoulder and arms around Gilmore’s waist, letting Gilmore hold the cup up to his lips as he took sips.

After a few minutes, Vax started refusing the cup, and so Gilmore set it aside and with a fluid movement, shifted both himself and Vax so that their heads were on the pillows, and that the sheets settled over them. Vax blinked at Gilmore, surprised at the sudden movement, but reached up to run his hand through Gilmore’s hair, pulling the tie out so that it framed his face and smiled. “That’s better. I love your hair.”

Gilmore sometimes wondered how he contained all the love he felt for this man, but knowing that it was reciprocated went a long way to letting him feel freely and completely. He leaned in for a kiss and Vax met him, even whilst being half-asleep. The kiss was barely more than a peck, and Vax tasted of cheap wine and cheaper ale, and it was the best kiss Gilmore had ever shared up until that point. Every kiss with Vax was the best kiss he had ever given or received.

Gilmore was mostly asleep, revelling in the comfort and warmth of having Vax back in his bed, where, in Gilmore’s opinion, was where he belonged, when he caught the tail end of a sentence. “… not mean.”

“What was that, love?”

Gilmore felt a deep sigh flutter across his neck and Vax repeated. “Vex was mean earlier. We fought. That’s why I wanted to come here, instead of the Keep. Home isn’t mean. You’re not mean.”

Gilmore felt Vax fully relax beside him and could tell from the slow deep breaths that he had finally properly succumbed to sleep, but Gilmore knew from the last sentence that Vax has uttered that he would be lying awake for a little while yet, trying to work exactly what had happened between Vax and his sister and wondering what in Exandria he was going to be able to do about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would have been out a lot quicker if I hadn't spent the past three days melting. Fucking British heatwaves, it has literally been so hot that I won't even go outside for Pokemon. I hate summer.
> 
> You'll notice that the sexytimes in this fic mostly go implied. That's because whilst I have written explicit stuff before, it takes me forever and I really worry about the quality. If I had actually decided to turn this explicit, you'd probably still be waiting for this at the end of the month.
> 
> You might also notice that there's stuff in this chapter that you might not recognise or flat-out disagree with. A lot of my personal headcanons worked their way into this, and if you want to ask about something, or even vehemently argue about something, feel free to ask, either here or at my [tumblr](http://eirwyn.tumblr.com/)

Vax drifted back into consciousness as he felt the warm body next to him shift and then leave. Even through his still-closed eyes, the brightness was too much for his aching head, and so Vax kept his eyes closed as he groaned and rolled over, reaching across the sheets for that warmth. His questing fingers were caught by a hand and gently laid down again, as another hand lightly smoothed his hair back with a deep chuckle. He felt a kiss pressed to the top of his head and a low voice murmuring. “Go back to sleep, my love. It’s early.” Vax smiled to himself, not opening his eyes and yet still feeling safe with that touch and that voice watching him, protecting him, and so let his mind drift away again, back into sleep.

When Vax woke again, he did open his eyes, and immediately regretted it, the bright light in the room lancing through his head, making the headache ten times worse. Vax had been hungover before, many times in fact, but this was one of the worst. It was so bad that it even seemed that the sun was coming from the wrong direction….

Vax sat up suddenly, shielding his eyes with a hand and looked around the room. That would explain why he thought the sun was particularly intolerable this morning. He was at Gilmore’s, and Gilmore’s room faced due east so when the sun rose, despite the curtains, the room was lit up and marvellously warm. With a groan, Vax swung his legs to the side and stood up, stretching his arms above his head, before looking around on the floor to see where his shirt and boots had gone. He found his shirt quickly enough, crumpled on the floor and put it back on, wrinkling his nose a little at the state of it, but he couldn’t find where his boots had been put for the life of him.

He was crouched on the floor, peering around for his left boot with his right boot clutched firmly in one hand, when he heard the door open behind him. Vax straightened up and spun around in one fluid movement, and promptly dropped the boot on the floor. “Shaun!”

Gilmore grinned from the doorway, quickly put the tray he was carrying to one side and crossed the room to sweep Vax into his arms. Vax clung back and they just held each other for a minute. Vax could feel himself relaxing, and while that always happened when he was around Gilmore, it never stopped being precious to him, that this man could, by his very presence, comfort Vax.

Eventually, Vax moved back enough so that he could actually look Gilmore in the face and say. “I missed you.”

Gilmore tucked a swath of dark hair behind one of Vax’s ears and replied. “I missed you too.”

They kissed, soft and sweet, a gentle relearning of how each other moved and touched and felt, before Vax broke it with a soft laugh and asked. “What _is_ the time? It feels late.”

“Past midday. I thought I’d see if you were awake and wanted something to eat. How’s the hangover?”

“It’s… manageable.” Vax glanced over at the tray of food Gilmore had brought with him, and then back at the man standing comfortably in his arms. He smiled and slid his hands to cup Gilmore’s face as he asked. “What would you say if I said I wasn’t hungry for food?”

Gilmore’s eyes grew darker and his arms tightened around Vax, eyes flickering to Vax’s lips and back up to his face, a constant circular movement of desire. “I would ask what you were hungry for.”

Without another word, Vax pulled Gilmore’s mouth down to meet his again, but this time it was open-mouthed and passionate from the start, their lips sliding firm and slick together and their tongues brushing. Vax could feel the heat of Gilmore’s body pressed against his own, and that heat was spreading, flickering down his spine and bringing a flush to his cheeks. 

Finally, Vax tore his mouth away and gasped out. “Bed, Shaun. Bed, _please_.”

Gilmore nodded, eyes hooded and dark, mouth red and wet and swollen, and hurriedly stepped towards the bed, using his hands that were on Vax’s hips to move and turn him, letting Vax fall backwards onto the bed and quickly joining him. Vax reached for him, intending to start getting Gilmore out his fancy wizard robes, and Gilmore’s hands were starting to slide under Vax’s clothes, when suddenly, they were interrupted.

By Vax’s stomach. 

The rumbling sound was loud enough to startle both men and they froze, hands stilling, before Gilmore caught Vax’s eye and burst into laughter. The sound was so infectious that Vax, despite the mild embarrassment, had to join in, and the two joyous sounds rang through the room. 

Catching his breath, Gilmore said teasingly. “I think maybe you might be hungry for that food after all.”

Vax rolled onto his back and huffed a reluctant laugh. “I think you’re right.” 

He stood up and made his way back over the tray. On it were various small bowls, filled with fruits and conserves, as well as plates piled with crusty breads, cuts of cold meats and cheeses, as well as a plate of something Vax recognised as being Gilmore’s favourite sweets, a sugary pastry-like ball. It always made Vax’s teeth ache when he ate it, but Gilmore loved them. There were also two cups filled with clear cool water, one of which Vax sipped as he inspected the food.

Over his shoulder, Vax said. “I suppose it was just as well we didn’t get carried away. You do have to get back to the shop sometime today, after all, which wouldn’t have happened if I’d managed to get your clothes off.”

Gilmore laughed, and Vax heard him get up from the bed before he felt arms snake back around his waist and a chin set on his shoulder as Gilmore murmured. “Well, I have no doubt that’s true. _If_ I had to go back to the shop.”

Vax frowned, and set the cup down, tipping his head back to rest against Gilmore’s shoulder as he asked. “What?”

“Dearest, you know that the day after you come back from your travels, I make sure we can spend the day together. That’s all I’ve done. Well, not all. Sherri came in this morning and I told her that she was in charge for the rest of the week.” Vax felt Gilmore shrug behind him. “This separation was one of the longer ones we’ve endured. I wanted time to… well, to make up for it.”

Vax turned in Gilmore’s arms to face him, knowing that his mouth was hanging open in a very unattractive manner and not caring, because Gilmore had done that. Vax knew how much he hated to be away from the shop for more than a couple of days, normally because what made the most money was specialist items that Gilmore crafted himself, and here he was, casually saying that he had taken four days off just because Vax had come back into Emon and Gilmore had missed him. One day, Vax would stop being surprised every time somebody did something for him just because they wanted to make him happy, but a part of him wanted to always be surprised by Gilmore.

He had been silent for quite a while, and Gilmore’s face was starting a look a little concerned as he asked. “Is… is that… okay?”

A smile curled Vax’s lips, unable to stop in the face of Gilmore’s nervousness, as if Vax wouldn’t want anything he offered, and he replied. “We are going back to bed. We’re going to bed, and we’re ignoring my stomach and you are going to fuck me until I can’t see straight. Does that answer your question?”

Vax wished he could have captured exactly what Gilmore’s face did as he spoke, but that thought was quickly set aside for later as Gilmore dragged him back over to the bed and proceeded to set about destroying all other thoughts apart from ‘ _yes, oh yes, there, there, **there**_!’

***

Vax took a deep breath and let it out, snuggling even closer to Gilmore, pressing his nose into Gilmore’s skin and letting that familiar scent of incense and sandalwood. The full length of their naked bodies were pressed together, still sweaty and overheated from their earlier activities, and it was the most content Vax had been in three months. As if in reminder that Vax still hadn’t eaten yet today, his stomach grumbled, and he felt the movement of Gilmore’s silent laughter beneath his cheek as Gilmore pushed himself up on one arm in order to see the tray of food, extended his other hand and summoned the tray over.

Vax sat up a little as well, propping himself up on a few pillows, and Gilmore guided it down onto Vax’s lap, before lying back down and nuzzling his face into Vax’s hip. Vax began to tear the bread into chunks and dipping it into the conserves, occasionally biting off mouthfuls of cheese and meat and fruit to go with the bread. Gilmore just stayed resting peacefully beside him, sporadically lifting his head so Vax could feed him a bit of bread, or a cube of cheese, or a few berries before relaxing into the pillows again.

Once a good three-quarters of the tray had been eaten and Vax was feeling pleasantly full, he moved the tray out of the way so he could settle back down into his former position, nose pressed into Gilmore’s collarbone, legs tangled together and arms thrown haphazardly across each other’s bodies. He could feel himself drifting off to sleep again, despite the sticky mess they had made of themselves and the bed, when Gilmore spoke, his words uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant.

“Vax, I wanted to ask you something. Do you remember last night?”

Vax hummed in response, before clarifying verbally. “Not much after I got here. I vaguely remember talking about us being naked…?”

Vax could hear the smile in Gilmore’s voice as he said. “Of course you would remember that. But no, that’s not what I meant. You came here seeming rather upset, and just before you fell asleep last night, you said….”

“I remember,” interrupted Vax, not wanting Gilmore to repeat what he had said whilst drunk and hurt. “I remember, Gil.”

Vax felt Gilmore’s hand move to card through Vax’s hair before settling on his back, sweeping up and down comfortingly as he asked. “I was worried, though I don’t know if I need to be. I don’t have siblings, after all. Do you want to talk about it?”

Vax sighed, opened his eyes and detangled himself from Gilmore briefly, somewhat gratified by the unconscious response his movement garnered, with Gilmore’s face falling as Vax moved away from him, before relief lit up his face as Vax simply settled himself on Gilmore’s lap, knees either side of Gilmore’s hips, hands resting on Gilmore’s chest. Gilmore placed his hands over Vax’s and raised his eyebrows, a gentle prompt but nothing more.

Vax took a steadying breath and started. “Do you remember why we had to go?”

Gilmore nodded. “You were all trying to help Keyleth with her… what did she call it?”

Vax smiled. “Her AraMente. It’s something she has to complete before she can be accepted as the leader of her people. Being the daughter of the current leader isn’t enough.”

Gilmore tilted his head, as if something had just slotted into place in his memories. “Tiberius used to call her ‘Princess’. I thought it was just an affectionate term, not literal.”

“Well, I think he meant it affectionately as well, but that was probably the best term for what she was to the Ashari people.”

“Was? No longer?”

Vax shook his head, a bittersweet smile on his face as he replied. “No, no longer. The proper term now would probably be queen. She completed her AraMente. That was what we travelled to do, and she managed. She’ll be going back to her people. Which got all of us wondering, I think. About where we’ll go, when Vox Machina is no more.”

Gilmore moved a hand to touch Vax’s face lightly and said. “The end of a large part of your life. No wonder it made you feel out of sorts. But you and Vex’ahlia… what happened?”

Vax sighed. “I don’t think it was actually worse than arguments we’ve had before, it just seemed worse because we don’t seriously argue often and we were both drunk so there was less of a filter for our thoughts. No little voice telling us that maybe we shouldn’t say that out loud.”

“But?”

“The journey back was really quiet, everyone locked in their own heads, but when we got to Emon, obviously, the pub crawl happened, and we were treating it as a farewell for Keyleth, even though she won’t leave before the end of the month. We got to talking about what we would all do after Vox Machina. We can’t adventure into old age, it’ll either kill us or we’ll retire.”

Gilmore nodded encouragingly, letting Vax tell the story at his own pace, grounding him with his touch and Vax loved him so much right now. “As it turns out, everybody has a home. Tiberius is already at his home. Keyleth’s going back. Percival’s the Lord of Whitestone, he’s had a place to return to for a long time now. Scanlan’s physical home is long gone, but he has a daughter, and he can make a home around her. Pike, well, Pike was only ever meant to help us find Grog, and she stuck around. Her home is in Westruun; she has family there. And wherever Pike goes Grog will follow. They all have homes. It was only after they all turned to Vex and I that I realised I have no idea what I will do.”

Vax fell silent again, lost in his own thoughts. Gilmore waited for him, and it wasn’t long before Vax came back to himself, smiled weakly, and carried on. “Vex and I have never had a home. Byroden was hostile because we had elf blood, and Syngorn was a slightly more pompous version of hostile because we had human blood. The Keep here in Emon is the first place we’ve called home, but living there, with just the two of us and all the memories? Neither of us wanted that. That didn’t cause the argument. That happened when Vex realised that we didn’t have the same plans for after.” 

Gilmore had sat up during the story so he could lean forward and hold Vax as he grew more upset with the retelling of what had led to him turning up in Gilmore’s home at three in the morning, but at the last sentence, had frowned and said. “I can’t remember the last time you and your sister weren’t creepily in sync with each other’s thoughts, even if they were conflicting ones, but I didn’t know you had already thought about what would happen if Vox Machina no longer existed as a unit.”

Vax shrugged. “Sometimes I dwell on unpleasant thoughts.”

Gilmore smiled faintly, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he replied. “No, really? You?”

Vax gave Gilmore a deeply unamused look, but didn’t manage to hold it for long as it gave way to a returned small smile. “I guess I left myself open for that one.”

Gilmore hugged Vax a little tighter and asked gently. “What did Vex think was going to happen?”

“Her title; the one Percival gave her.” Vax sighed. “Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt. Can you hear how many capital letters that has?”

“I can indeed.”

“It comes with a house.” Vax shook his head. “A title, with a house and land and respectability, it’s all Vex has ever wanted. She likes having money, no-one who’s met my sister could deny that, but she likes the appearance of having money just as much. In Syngorn, it meant you got left alone, and Vex struggled more with those memories. It’s why Percival gave her the title in the first place.”

“I remember.” Gilmore said, a slightly amused tone to his voice. “You paced up and down these rooms for a week making more and more outlandish threats because you thought it was a courtship gift.”

“It wasn’t an _unreasonable_ conclusion!” Vax protested. “And the threats weren’t outlandish; I could have definitely carried out some of them!”

“Not with how many of them relied on Trinket. You know that bear loves young Percival as much as his mistress does.”

Vax smiled ruefully, having to acknowledge the truth of that statement, and continued explaining. “So, she has a house in Whitestone, and that’s where she intends to go. With Percival or after Percival, I have no idea, but she won’t stay in Emon and she thought I would be going with her. We’ve never been apart in our entire lives, not for more than a couple of days, so I suppose it wasn’t too unfair of her to assume that I would go to Whitestone as well.”

Vax could tell how careful Gilmore was being with his next sentence because he had paused and appeared to be almost arguing with himself internally before he asked. “And you… _don’t_ … want to go to Whitestone?”

“No!” Vax replied forcefully. “No, _of course_ I don’t want to go to Whitestone. It’s a small town in the middle of nowhere, which suits Vex, but I like Emon. I like how busy it is, I like how it is governed, I like the places and the people here, and _most_ importantly.” Vax leaned in close to press his forehead against Gilmore’s. “Shaun. You’re here. Why would I be anywhere else?”

“She’s your sister….”

“And you’re my lover.” Vax re-joined immediately. “I’m pretty sure you’re it for me. The rest of my life, if you’ll have me, I’ll spend at your side. So why, in this future I have to plan for, would I plan for us to spend any more time apart?”

Gilmore kissed him then, hungry and fierce, and Vax kissed him back, surging against Gilmore’s body so that they were pressed together as closely as possible. He could feel the relief in the sudden lack of tension in Gilmore’s body, and wondered whether Gilmore had genuinely believed for an instant that Vax would go to Whitestone with his twin.

As the kiss broke, Gilmore pressed their foreheads back together, and asked. “So that’s what caused it?”

“Yeah. I don’t really want to go into detail about what precisely was said. It was, well, you know how Vex can really put her foot in her mouth? The last straw was something that even she looked vaguely horrified to have said.”

“At least you know she was sorry.”

“I never doubted that.” Vax sighed. “I just had to get out of there, and I’d be spending these next few days with you anyway, so… I just needed you. I’ll go back to the Keep and talk to Vex at some point.”

Gilmore kissed him again, this time just a quick press of their lips together before saying. “In that case, I think I need a bath, and I _definitely_ think you should join me.”

“Are you saying I smell?”

Gilmore laughed. “I’m saying that I’m quite uncomfortably sticky now, and if I am, you are, and you have just been on the road for quite some time, so….”

Vax swatted at Gilmore playfully as he moved out of the way so Gilmore could climb out of the bed, but stayed on the bed himself, watching Gilmore move about his own rooms and enjoying the unintentional show, eyes dragging over Gilmore’s chest and stomach and ass and legs. An amused sound broke through Vax’s focus and he felt himself go a little pink even though he knew that Gilmore liked to be looked at as he looked up to meet Gilmore’s amused gaze and outstretched hand.

Vax climbed off the bed to take the offered hand and let Gilmore lead him into the washroom, resolving to not think any more about a future beyond the next four days. Who knows when Vox Machina would be off again, and Vax wasn’t going to waste a single minute he got to spend with the man he loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I've been pretty focused on getting this last part out quickly, for two reasons. The first being that I'm entering the second half of my crazy wedding summer. I had a hen party last Saturday, and I have a club night next Saturday (because you can't really do a hen party when there's two grooms), a wedding the Saturday after, and another one two weeks after that. I'm going to be so fucking exhausted.
> 
> The second reason is that I'm working on another story for a different fandom right now, and I want a chance to get some chapters of that out before the aforementioned craziness goes down.
> 
> This established AU has been so relaxing to write that I'm considering taking prompts in it. If you want to prompt something in this AU, even if it's just 'how does this version differ from canon and why', I'd love to take them. The best place to ask would be my [tumblr](http://eirwyn.tumblr.com/) but I'd see them here in the comments as well.

It was a couple of days before Gilmore saw any of the other members of Vox Machina. In all honesty, he hadn’t really seen anyone other than Vax in the two days that he had been back in Emon. They had scarcely left the bedroom, let alone the house, but that morning, Vax had cheerfully suggested that they walk around Emon, visit some of their favourite places and generally make a day of it. It was after lunch that Vax had kissed him on the cheek and said that he was heading back to the Keep, just to check in and grab a couple of things.

Gilmore would normally have offered to go with him, but there was something in Vax’s voice and manner that made him bite his tongue, accept the kiss and tell Vax that he’d meet him back in the shop. So that was where he found himself, sitting in the back of the shop behind the beaded curtain, and casually working on one of his commissions to keep himself occupied. It was a complicated curse removal job, and Gilmore was finding it fascinating, because he didn’t get too many of them.

As he was sitting there, he heard raised voices, and as he started paying attention, he realised that one of them was Sherri’s, and she was getting closer as she said. “… I told you, he’s not here. He took the rest of the week off, but since you’re so sure I’m hiding him from you, look…!”

The beaded curtain was swept aside and Gilmore saw Sherri, whose eyes went wide when she saw him, and right behind her, peering over her shoulder, was Vex, who could barely conceal her triumph as she shouldered past Sherri and shouted. “I knew it!”

Vex strode over, followed by Sherri who was saying desperately. “I’m so sorry, Gilmore. I really thought you weren’t here; I would never have let _her_ back here if I had known….”

Gilmore held up one hand to forestall Sherri’s flood of words and replied calmly. “That’s quite all right, Sherri, I wasn’t expecting to be here either, so you weren’t to know. You can get back to the shop.” As Sherri went, throwing a suspicious look at Vex as she did so, Gilmore turned his attention to Vex. “What can I do for you today, Vex’ahlia?”

“You know what you can do! You can tell me where he is!”

Gilmore thought briefly about pretending ignorance about who she was talking about, but in the end just replied. “With the assumption that you’re talking about your brother, I’m afraid I don’t know exactly where he is.”

Vex snorted. “You mean to tell me he hasn’t been with you for the past two days?”

“No, he has.” Gilmore admitted easily. “But you asked me to tell you where he is, and the answer is the same. I saw him about an hour ago, when he told me that he was going to your Keep and that he’d see me later. Where he is precisely, I have no idea.”

Far from reassuring Vex, it seemed to make her worse, as she muttered to herself. “It shouldn’t have taken him an hour to get to the Keep and back again….” She turned away, chewing on her lower lip and started to walk away, but Gilmore moved over and stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

She stopped, and looked at him as Gilmore said gently. “Has it occurred to you that the reason you haven’t seen him for two days is that he’s not ready to talk to you yet?”

The frenetic jittery energy coursing through Vex’s limbs seemed to stop, and Gilmore watched all the fight drain out her as Vex replied quietly. “Really?”

Gilmore shrugged, subtly guiding her to a chair. “You’re right, the Keep isn’t an hour from here. Now, Vax _might_ have got involved in something stupid, because it’s Vax, and it’s a gift of his, but I think it’s far more likely he went to the Keep, saw that you weren’t there and used your… well, frankly _very_ intimidating twin telepathy, to work out that one of the first places you’d look for him would be here, so he’s delayed returning.”

Vex laughed weakly. “It doesn’t take twin telepathy to think to look for Vax here first.”

Gilmore smiled. It was nice to think that when people thought to look for Vax, they also thought to look for him, that he and Vax were so connected even in only some people’s minds that they didn’t bother separating them. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Vex asking. “Did Vax tell you what happened?”

Gilmore retook the seat he had been in before Sherri and Vex had interrupted him and replied. “Not in any great detail. Just that you and he had fought because, as it turns out, you cannot in fact read each other’s minds.”

Vex looked surprised and also a little relieved. “He didn’t tell you what I said?”

“Just that you were both drunk and not thinking. To be honest, I don’t think he wanted to repeat whatever those words were. I catch him, every now and again, gazing into space when he thinks I’m not paying attention, and I know he’s thinking about whatever it was you said.”

“I did wonder why you weren’t angrier at me.” Vex sighed, hands twisting together on her lap as she continued worrying her lower lip, a nervous habit shared by her brother. The gesture was so powerfully evocative to Gilmore, because right up until Vax had forced himself to finally confess that he was in love with Gilmore, he had been biting his lower lip.

Gilmore smiled a little, unable to really help himself, and said. “It’s not my place to be angry with you, Vex’ahlia. I’m upset because he’s upset, that’s all.”

Vex looked down at her feet. “I just want to find him! I just want to say I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have said those things, but I was afraid I was losing him. How can he be here, and I’m in Whitestone? How can we manage that?”

Gilmore opened his mouth to reply, not even sure what it was he was going to say, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a slight movement just outside the beaded curtain. He narrowed his eyes at it, trying to make out the shape of whoever was lurking outside, listening to his and Vex’s conversation. It took him longer than he was proud of to work out who would be so interested in listening to two people discuss a third, and by that point, Vex had followed the line of his gaze and stood up suddenly, making her way hurriedly over to the curtain as she called out.

“Vax! Brother, is that you?”

Gilmore had stood up as well, and wasn’t shocked when Vax did indeed step through the curtain, his face carefully blank as his hands clutched the strap of a bag slung over one shoulder. He met Gilmore’s eyes and Gilmore answered the unspoken question. “She was looking for you, and thus decided to look for me. I happened to be here.”

Vax nodded and looked over at his sister, their expressions eerily similar as they stood opposite each other, Vex obviously holding herself back because of how Vax was projecting, his personal space almost manifested as a physical barrier. Gilmore looked at the twins, and made a decision. Vex wasn’t leaving without saying what she wanted to, and now was a good a time as any, if Vax was willing to listen.

Gilmore walked over to Vax, whose face and posture relaxed as Gilmore approached and leaned in for a kiss, a short non-verbal welcome back that Vax returned, before Gilmore asked quietly. “How was everyone, love?”

“The same as always. They said that Vex had been looking for me. I knew she’d end up here eventually, I just didn’t expect….” Vax trailed off, looking down at the ground.

Gilmore took one of Vax’s hands into one of his own and said. “I know. Do you want to give me the bag? I’ll take it upstairs so you two have a chance to talk, but only if you want to.”

Vax nodded slowly, letting the bag slide from his shoulder to the ground and handing the strap to Gilmore as he replied. “Yeah, I want to. We can’t keep arguing over something that hasn’t even happened yet.”

Gilmore twisted the strap around his hand and lifted the bag a bit as he teased gently. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time.” He got what he wanted, which was a small smile out of Vax, and then a bonus as Vax leaned in for another kiss, this one a little longer and firmer. Gilmore could sense Vex rolling her eyes behind him, but his focus was on Vax, and how he definitely looked happier now than when he had first walked in.

Gilmore stepped away and began to make his way over to the staircase that led up to his living quarters, saying as he did so. “I’ll leave you two alone now. Do try and keep the yelling to a minimum, it frightens the customers.” He made eye contact with Vax again and said, more seriously. “Come and find me if you need me, or when you’re done.”

As he rounded the corner and started up the stairs, he heard the sound of footsteps and Vex’s voice as she said. “Brother, I’m so sorry….”

Gilmore smiled. They would be all right.

He found the book that he had been reading the night that Vax had climbed through his window and opened it up to the bookmark. It had been rather neglected since he had been occupied with other things, but it would do as a distraction for now. Settling down to read, Gilmore quickly became absorbed, and didn’t notice time passing until there was a knock and he looked up.

Vax smiled at him and Gilmore quickly put the book aside and opened his arms, a silent invitation that Vax took, settling onto Gilmore’s lap with his legs thrown over one of the arms of the chair and his arms around Gilmore’s shoulders, whilst Gilmore loosely wrapped his arms around Vax’s waist and leaned his head against Vax’s shoulder.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Vax murmured. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Gilmore replied, just as quietly.

“For being there. For understanding. For not asking Vex what exactly was said when you could have easily done so. Lots of things.”

Kissing him was easy, and Gilmore had to, right there and then, but before the kiss could get too involved, Gilmore drew back and asked. “Is Vex’ahlia still here?”

“She, uh….” Vax cleared his throat. “She said something about annoying Sherri for a bit. She might still be in the shop. Why?”

Gilmore urged Vax up so he could stand and begin heading back towards the stairs that led down to the shop, saying over his shoulder. “I just want to talk to her briefly. I’ll be back in a bit.”

He found Vex holding a potion bottle and talking to Sherri, the familiar tone of voice that said she was trying to get something for far less money that what it was worth. Gilmore tapped Sherri on the shoulder and said. “Let me take over here. I have something I need to discuss with our lovely Lady Vex here.”

Sherri walked away, far too professional to let out a sigh of relief, but Gilmore knew that dealing with Vex was trying for even the most experienced of shop workers. Vex smiled tremulously at Gilmore as he stood in front of her, and put the bottle down, saying. “I don’t really want this; I was just….”

“Torturing my staff, I know, that’s what Vax said you would be doing. Fair warning: if she quits, I’m going to make you apologise until she reverses it.”

A proper smile from Vex now, and it never failed to be strange to see Vax’s expressions on someone else’s face, no matter how similar those faces were. “What did you want to discuss, Gilmore?”

Gilmore took a breath, not really sure how this was going to go, but he knew that it was important that he spoke to Vex about this. “Please don’t take this as me asking for permission. I’m going to anyway, but I think it’s fair that you hear about this now from me than potentially from Vax later.”

Vex frowned. “Gilmore, what are you talking about? Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m hoping you’ll be happy about this.” This was more nerve-wracking than Gilmore thought it was going to be, considering he had told himself over and over again that it didn’t matter how Vex responded. “Tonight, or maybe tomorrow, I’m going to ask Vax to marry me. You’re the only family he’s got left and, well, I’d like to know that….”

Vex’s hands had flown up to cover her mouth in shock, but she interrupted him to finish his sentence. “That I’m not going to fly into a jealous rage about you taking my twin brother away from me?”

“That isn’t exactly what I was going to say….”

Vex tipped her head back and laughed. “But you were thinking it. I don’t blame you.” She stopped laughing, suddenly becoming very serious. “I know I can be… protective of Vax, and possessive of him. It’s what happens when one person is all you have to rely on in the entire world. But I’m like that because I want him to be happy.”

Vex reached out to put a hand over one of Gilmore’s and said. “You make him happy. So happy. I would never stand in the way of that.”

“I just hope he says yes.”

“Are you kidding me?” Vex giggled, and patted Gilmore’s hand. “Of course he’s going to say yes. And if he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass myself.”

Gilmore smiled at her. “I’ll take that as your blessing.”

“Good.” Vex turned around and made her way out of the shop, waving a hand absently as she called. “See you later, Gilmore.”

It was later on that night, after the evening meal had been eaten, that Gilmore decided how he was going to proceed. Making sure he had everything he needed, Gilmore reached out to get Vax’s attention and asked. “Will you come with me?”

Vax nodded, taking the offered hand. Hand in hand, Gilmore led him over to a door, hidden behind a curtain and opened it to reveal a spiralling set of stairs leading up to the roof. As they got up to the roof, Vax stepped onto it, taking a couple of steps forward, before turning to look at Gilmore and asked. “How many more times are you going to surprise me?”

“You didn’t know?” Gilmore knew that he didn’t know, but he just wanted Vax to say it.

Vax rolled his eyes, still smiling, and replied. “You know I didn’t. I had no idea you could get onto the roof.” 

He looked over to where there was a long padded recliner and made his way over, Gilmore following, and they settled themselves down onto it, Gilmore sitting and leaning back, one arm wrapped around Vax as he laid his head on Gilmore’s shoulder and asked. “Why did you bring me up here?”

“The stars were meant to be bright and clear tonight. I thought maybe we could spend some time up here and watch.”

“Stargazing.” Vax’s smile somehow managed to get brighter. “You’re a closet romantic, you know that?”

Gilmore tightened his arm around Vax’s body and replied. “I suppose it won’t help my case to tell you that the reason there’s already a long chair up here is because sometimes I come up here when you’re away and look at the stars, and know that you’d be looking at the same stars.”

“No you’re right, it won’t help your case, but….” Vax paused, and fidgeted a little, getting comfortable. “I like that idea. I always ended up taking more watches at night, because as it turns out, I can’t really sleep without you anymore.”

They settled into silence, looking up at the stars. Gilmore was pleased to see that he had been right, and the sky was clear with few clouds, making the stars easy to see and beautiful. The silence extended comfortably for quite some time, and whilst Gilmore was enjoying just relaxing with Vax’s warm weight pressed against his side, he was up here to ask a question and hopefully receive a positive answer.

So he plunged right in. “Vax, are you… are you happy?”

When he didn’t immediately get a reply, Gilmore’s heart clenched in his chest, until he looked down at Vax’s face and realised that he was mostly asleep, tucked into Gilmore’s side. Gilmore gently jostled him until Vax blinked open hazel eyes and murmured. “Gil? Did you say something?”

“I asked if you were happy.”

Vax sat up properly and looked at Gilmore, confusion evident on his face. “Am I happy? Of course I am. What made you ask?”

Gilmore swallowed nervously. “I just wanted to check.”

“But what made you think I wasn’t?” Vax frowned, twisting around to face Gilmore, legs crossed in front of him. “Has something happened? Are _you_ not happy?”

“No!” Gilmore responded forcefully, grasping Vax’s hands. “Nothing’s happened. I am so happy to be with you; I was just… I was trying to lead up to something.”

Vax’s smile was hesitant as he asked. “What?”

Gilmore took a deep breath and started. “Before I ask, I want you to know that I know that this can’t change how this relationship functions just yet. I know that you have things you have to do, and you still will have to travel, but this is something that I want to do, that I want to ask, very much.”

As Gilmore had been talking, Vax’s face had started serious, but had moved through various stages of confusion to surprise and as Gilmore paused, the expression on Vax’s face was wide-eyed disbelief as he whispered. “Shaun, are you… are you asking…?”

“I’m asking you to marry me.” Gilmore let out the breath that it felt like he’d been holding for days and grinned, saying a little louder and as clear as he could be. “Vax’ildan, my dearest love, will you marry me?”

Gilmore was still holding Vax’s hands, so he could feel how limp Vax had gone. He looked at Vax, a little worried at the lack of reaction, but eventually Vax dragged in a breath and asked. “Did you mean it?”

Gilmore raised one of his hands to touch Vax’s face and replied earnestly. “Yes. I meant it.” Vax’s face crumpled and Gilmore cupped his face, worried. “Dearest, what’s wrong…?”

Vax shook his head, reaching up to grasp Gilmore’s hands and move them away from his face and back down to rest on Vax’s knees. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m overwhelmed and shocked as hell, but nothing’s wrong, just… say it again.”

Gilmore smiled slightly and repeated himself, making the words come slowly and clearly. “Will you marry me?”

Vax laughed then, the sound extraordinarily bright and pure, as well as loud in the quiet of the night. The sound, and the joy that produced it, lit up his face, making him somehow even more beautiful in the flickering light of the candles as he said. “Again. Please, just once more.”

Gilmore was grinning now, Vax’s happiness becoming infectious and just said. “Marry me?”

Vax responded by getting up on his knees and throwing himself forward, colliding with Gilmore’s body and pushing him backwards, ending with Vax half-sprawled on top of Gilmore, both of them lying lengthways on the recliner as Vax replied, his voice fierce and low. “Yes. _Yes_ , I will marry you.”

Gilmore pushed Vax’s hair out of his face, smoothing it down along his back, before tilting his head back and kissing him, deeply and passionately. He lost track of how long they lay there in the awkward position Vax had put them in and kissed, but eventually, he pulled away long enough to say teasingly. “Say it again.”

Vax grinned, pushing himself up onto his elbows, and replied. “Ask me again.”

“I asked you three times and only got one answer. I think I deserve one more.”

Vax rolled his eyes, still grinning as if he would never stop. “Well, the romance is dead already, and we’re not even married.” He paused, seemingly turning something over in his mind, before making eye contact with Gilmore again. “Yes. Yes, Shaun. Yes, I will marry you, yes, I will be your husband, yes to all of it. Is that answer enough?”

Gilmore laughed, not bothering to answer the clearly rhetorical question, and sat up, forcing Vax to slide off him and readjust his position on the chaise, before standing up and holding his hand out for Vax to take, pulling him up to stand in front of where Gilmore stood.

Vax looked on curiously as Gilmore reached into his robes and removed an intricately carved wooden box, holding it out for Vax to take. He did so, and after a quick glance at Gilmore, lifted the lid to look inside. After a few seconds of absolute stillness, Vax reached inside and removed the contents. Resting in his hand was a spiral of silver metal, clearly excellent quality and highly polished. On both ends of the spiral, the simple piece of silver turned into beautiful stylised wings. 

Vax looked between the piece of jewellery and Gilmore a couple of times before Gilmore stepped forward and took it out of his hands, reaching for Vax’s left arm and starting to slide it on as he began to explain. “You know that it’s human tradition to offer a ring to the person they want to marry.”

Vax nodded, watching Gilmore’s hands on his arm.

“And that it’s elven tradition to offer a necklace instead of a ring.”

Vax’s head snapped up, but he didn’t say anything as Gilmore got the jewellery where he wanted it, but left a hand on it, stroking the quickly warming metal. “I made the armband partly because both a ring and necklace could get in your way in a fight, but mostly because I don’t want you to be anything other than yourself with me. I could have given you a ring, but that’s human tradition and you’re not human. I could have given you a necklace, but that’s elven tradition and you’re not elven. You’re a half-elf, but more than that, you’re Vax’ildan, and that makes you unique in this world.” 

Gilmore risked looking up to meet Vax’s eyes, and was nearly blown away by the intensity of the emotion in them. He swallowed, and finished. “So, you deserve something as unique as you are.”

Vax reached up and put a hand over where Gilmore’s was resting over the armband, letting their fingers intertwine, before saying. “I don’t deserve you.”

Gilmore stepped closer and shook his head. “You deserve everything you want. If that includes me, well then, that makes me the lucky one.”

Vax kissed him, gentle and sweet, and said. “I want you. In _all_ senses of the word.”

Gilmore grinned at the implication in that sentence, and moved away, tugging Vax along by their joined hands back towards the staircase that led down into the building. “In that case, we’d better go back inside.”

Vax followed willingly enough, but as they got inside, before Gilmore could do anything, even light some of the candles ready and waiting, Vax pulled him back into his body and murmured. “I love you, Shaun.”

Gilmore smiled, and kissed him again, revelling in the idea that now these kisses had been promised to each other, and each other alone. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm a sap, and no, I don't care! I hope the proposal was a surprise! It was deliberately not tagged in order to try and make it one, but maybe I'm just super obvious.
> 
> For those wanting a visual reference, the wooden box I imagine to look like [this](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/462860261/vintage-indian-wooden-box-small-wooden?ref=market) and the armband to look like [this](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/244862584/double-holy-wing-armband-golden-brass?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=&ref=sr_gallery_19)

**Author's Note:**

> Drunk Vax is partially based on canon and partially based on me. I would say I'm ashamed, but I'm not.


End file.
